Moosnooze!

Thoughts on Growing Up

2011-12-21T12:00:00.000-08:00

The BabyMoose is back! Except I'm not really much of a baby any more. I'm a toddler! Does that make me the ToddlerMoose? Mom still calls me "baby", though. I try to make her see that I'm a big boy with all the things I can do, but she says I'll always be her baby. How embarrassing.

You're wondering about the things I can do? Well, I've been walking and running for quite a while now, and I've also taken up dancing. When I'd like to hear some music, I point at the remote control for the stereo and wave my arms around above my head so mom and dad get the idea. I love to dance with dad, I think he's better than rides at an amusement park (which, I admit, I've only heard about)! He swings me and spins me and throws me, and hasn't dropped me yet! I try to dance with mom so she'll feel included, too, but it's not nearly as fun. She won't spin very fast, or for very long, and she definitely doesn't jump! Plus, her belly is in the way! I'm still not quite sure what's up with that. She still points at it and says "there's a baby in there, Benjamin". I just nod, pat her belly and say "baby", too; but I secretly wonder if she's off her rocker.

Guess what we have in our house? A tree! I know, isn't that weird?? I thought trees belonged outside! But I'm glad this one is on the house, it's beautiful. Mom says it's a Christmas tree. It twinkles with lights and is sparkly and has all kinds of things on it! Also underneath, there are presents!!! Now, I've had some experience with presents, and I know what to do with them, but mom and dad won't let me touch them. At first I was miffed; but they said I would be able to touch them someday soon, so I content myself with staring, pointing, and exclaiming. I also do this when we're driving around after dark and I see houses that have lights on them. It's amazing! Have you seen it?

Another thing I'm into these days are tractors, trucks, cars... pretty much anything with an engine and wheels. Vacuum cleaners fit into that category. Oh, and trains, too! Choo-chooooo! I'm pretty good at that noise. I've also got a bunch of animal noises figured out- horses, cows, pigs, kitties, birds, even camels! Dad taught me that one. Mom says he's a pro.

Oh, here's some evidence of how grown up I am: I only take one nap a day, now! I stay up and play all morning, I have such a good time hanging out in my room with my toys and books. When it's time to eat, I can feed myself, and pretty darn effectively, too; the last time I was at the doctor, they said I had grown two whole inches in one month! Feeding myself was pretty hard at first, but I'm finally getting the hang of it. When I eat yogurt with my spoon, I can clean that bowl right out!

I've got to go now, but like they say, Merry Christmas!

News from the 'hood

2011-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps! Man, it's been a long time since I last posted. I promise, it hasn't been all laziness on my part; in fact, I've been busy doing some important stuff! I helped Mom rearrange the living room, and put a chair in my room. I even helped her hang curtains.

Yep, I'm a pretty big boy now. I'm learning how to eat with a fork, which is definitely harder than it looks! I use sign language to say important stuff like "more", "all done", "please", and "thank you", but I'm also working on saying words like Mom and Dad do. I especially like to say "water", and today I said a new one- "baby"! Mom heard that and pointed at her tummy. "Baby!", she said. I poked her tummy. It still doesn't look like a baby to me, but she told me I'm going to have a little sister. What is that?

Here's something exciting! You'll never guess what we have living under our deck! A kitten!!! He's a baby like me, but I'm a lot bigger than he is. I love to visit him, I run to the deck door and look out the window and call until he comes. Sometimes he eats his food, sometimes he plays with leaves or bugs; and sometimes he just sits by the door and talks to me. I can't understand what he's saying, but I wish I could open that door and play with him, too!

Well, I've got to go. I'm feelin' sleepy, and Rafters (my giraffe) is calling my name.

The Definition of a Birthday

2011-07-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

Just recently, I experienced something quite different... I spent the whole weekend with just Dad! Mom wasn't there at all! Needless to say, lots of guy stuff went on- burping, scratching, wrestling, etc. (Just kidding, Mom!) Really, though, we made it through and had a good time; but boy were we excited to see her pull into the driveway yesterday!

Mom wasn't home too long before we all jumped back in the car. Where could we be going? When I found out, I wasn't too pleased. We were going to see the doctor. They weighed me and measured me and stuck me with needles!!! Awful people, why would they do that to me? Especially on my birthday?? Cuz yeah, it was my birthday yesterday! I knew that because people have been talking about it for weeks, and how exciting it was. I was looking forward to it, too, but this is not what I had in mind! After the doctor episode, Mom and Dad took me to the coffee shop where I got to have a monster cookie! That made me feel better.

That night, something really cool happened!! My new Auntie Julie (who we adopted) came over. I always like to see her, but this time, she brought me a huge chocolate cake and presents!! This must be what people meant by birthdays being exciting! I had some cake, and mom helped me open my presents- cool new clothes, and a couple of toys! They should keep me busy for a while! Thank you, Auntie Julie and Uncle Wayne!

Now for something completely different... Mom and Dad like to talk about babies. That's all well and good, because I'm their baby, but they sound like they're talking about more than one! Then today, Mom points at her tummy and says "there's a baby in there, Benjamin." I checked, but all I saw was her bellybutton. She must be mistaken.

Freedom!!

2011-07-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, Mom and Dad were making a big deal about the date for some reason... the 4th of July? Why would that be so exciting? Come on, parents, pull it together! It's just another day on the calendar! But then I started to catch the bug, too. After all, they let me stay up late when I should have been having my morning nap, and we went into town and sat by the street and watched the decorated cars, trucks, motorcycles, horses, and puppies go by. That was fun, but it really took it out of me. I fell asleep when we got back in the car. When I woke up, we were at this amazing place called an ice cream parlor! Was I really awake? Or dreaming? Mom and Dad both got ice cream cones, and they shared with me! Man, was that cold!! After our treat we hurried home, because someone was starting to get cranky (ahem).

A couple of naps later, the parental units and I drove back into town. Dad put a big blanket on the grass, and we sat (well, Mom and Dad sat... I was busy moving around and looking at stuff) and listened to a big band play all of these songs they said were patriotic. Not sure what that is, but I liked the music, and even busted a move once in a while when I thought no one was looking. This guy would stand up and talk between the songs. Apparently, it was Independence Day. Independence? I can relate! This past week I really started walking, and man, is that a freeing experience!

When the music was over, it was starting to get dark. Mom pointed out these things to me- they were low to the ground (like me!), and every so often they would shine! It was amazing! She called them fireflies. We got back in the car and Dad drove us somewhere else, but we didn't go home. I was confounded. Seriously? It's already dark out and you're not putting me to bed??? Well, I'm not gonna argue! We stopped, and Dad got me and brought me up to sit in front with them. Holy cow, I have never seen so many buttons in one place! And this is a steering wheel, you say? Can I drive???

Finally, it was really dark. We got out and sat on the curb (again!), and Mom pointed at the sky. What the heck was going on over there? Big sparkly things would flash, and then I heard a boom! Whoa! I liked that quite a bit. After a while, though, the big day started to get to me. I let Mommy and Daddy know that I was ready to go home. The sky stopped flashing, and I was buckled into my seat. Mom let me hold her hand, and I don't remember the rest.

Time flies when you're having fun! (And boy do I have a lot to tell you!)

2011-06-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously!

People always talk about how time goes fast when you get older. Well, I may be just a baby, but my days haven't been exactly dragging. And you know what? I'm not going to be a baby for much longer- I'm almost 10 1/2 months old, thank you very much! I get to eat all kinds of yummy things now, like something dad says is his favorite- he calls it steak. Since I have four teeth, it's a little bit easier to chew. What's weird though, is when we're out driving past fields and dad points and says "Look, Benjamin! Steak!" I never see any. All I see are cows!

Now that it's warm out, mom takes me outside, which is one of my favorite things. Sometimes I'll check out the bugs in the grass, and even pick the yellow flowers I see for her, and sometimes she'll push me in a swing. I love feeling the breeze in my hair. When we're tired of that we'll go and look at these rows and rows of little green plants. Mom calls them corn, and says they grow so fast they'll be taller than me soon; and then after a while we can eat them! Not quite sure how that works when she won't let me eat grass, but I'll keep you posted.

This is me, watching for Dad to come home from work!

I have to tell you about my latest trick! I like to pull myself up on the couch, on chairs, on kitchen cabinets, on mommy and daddy, etc... but lately I've started letting go once I'm upright. Then mom and dad get all excited. They try to get me to take steps from one of them to the other- without holding onto anything! Are they nuts?? Besides, it's faster to crawl. I've got super-speed. I'll probably look into this walking thing a little bit though, just to keep my options open.

So mom and dad tell me that we have a busy week coming up. Dad talks about doing a wedding (um, aren't he and mommy already married??), and then we get to see my cousin Sean get baptized! I'm looking forward to seeing him and my aunties and uncles, and also to some good, quality Mim and Poppi and Grandma and Grandpa time. Then after that, mom and dad say we have to go down to Great Grandma's house for a funeral. They tell me my Great-great Grammy went away to be with Jesus. They sounded a little sad about it, but I don't know why. Isn't that a good thing? Say hi to Him for me, Grammy!

Oh, one more thing before I sign out! My Auntie Rachel and my cousins came to visit me! Christopher and Andrew and I had such a good time doing boy stuff! They brought me an early birthday present, and I got to open it. It's a cool box that stands up tall, and I can see inside it. Four balls sit on the top, and when I hit them with the hammer (which I've been working hard on), they roll down the ramps inside the box to the bottom. It's so cool!

Anyway, apparently it's time for me to go to bed, but as I'm sure you can see, I've been keeping ~~mom~~ busy.

Happy Cinqo de Miracle Whip!!!

2011-05-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hey, that's me in the picture there. It looks like I am upside down. But in fact, everything else was upside down. I'm not really sure how it happened or why, but it were so. And then Mom fixed it. Here's a poem.

I like to laugh
And crawl about.
I like to giggle
And to shout.
They call me fat,
But I'm just stout
Hey, ho, hey!

A Father Son Conversation

2011-04-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

Baby Moose: I'm a little baby, short and stout
Fiftieth percentile just about.
When I drink my bottle I just shout,
"Wait, fiftieth percentile? You've got to be kidding me. I thought I was ninety-fifth percentile. What happened?

Dad: You probably cry off a lot of calories when we put you down for naps.

Baby Moose: Just so that we're clear, I will not sacrifice justice just to gain a few pounds.

Dad: Right. Justice.

Baby Moose: I heard sarcasm in your voice.

Dad: You pipe down with the justice and I'll keep the sarcasm to a minimum.

I don't think we're in Iowa anymore

2011-03-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

We drove to Minneapolis so I could visit the Sem and so we could catch a flight to Arizona. The plane left a few hours ahead of yet another ice and snow storm, but we made it to the land of sunshine, sand and saguaros.

My shades? Well, in the immortal words of Timbuk 3:

Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise

I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

In the Immortal Word of REM, "Stand"

2011-03-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

Guess what I did yesterday!

When Daddy put me down for a nap I eschewed his admonition to "sleep sweetly" and yelled my head off. But fear not, it was not a simple fit of pique that caused my cries to so reverberate through the house. No, it was the effort of...

wait for it...

STANDING!!!!! that cause me to yell. Yes, I yelled. Baby overcoming his leaden constrictions is worth a howl. And so is victory!!

Of course, once I stood up I hadn't the foggiest idea what to do. Hitherto, I've never paid much attention to such things. Clearly this will change.

[Picture is a bit dark. Mommy was being sneaky.]

Baby on the Move

2011-03-01T07:05:00.000-08:00

Look! On the ground.
It's a race car!
It's an intercontinental ballistic missile!
No, it's Benjamin!!!

I am a baby on the move.
I move so fast the camera can hardly catch me.
Yes, I am crawling.

There are certain advantages to crawling. I get to explore, exercise, touch new stuff, and impress the ladies. On the downside, I have, on occasion, touched the wrong stuff. At least, I presume it was the wrong stuff because Mom and Dad say, "No Benjamin. Don't touch that." And then they flick my fingers, which truth be told is a little unpleasant. But I've found that I can avoid this by NOT touching the item in question. It seems like a pretty simple set up. I plan to master it.

From where I sit

2011-02-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

What a busy time it has been the last couple of months! I've logged nearly 1000 miles in my MMS - Mobile Moose System (please, don't call it a "baby seat") - going from South St. Paul to Alexandria for Daddy's ordination and back, and then from South St. Paul to LeMars, Iowa, then back to South St. Paul with Mommy to surprise Aunite Ninja for her birthday, and finally home again to LeMars.

Yes, I did say "home".

While I will always have fond memories of Mim and Poppi's house as the place where I was born and got my start (and this blog), I'm nearly seven months old now and it's time to move on. Mommy and Daddy and I have a huge new house. It's so big, I even have my own room!

I also have a place at the table where I can sit in my floating high-chair without anyone having to hold me up. This also makes it easier for me to feed myself. You probably saw the photo earlier where I was holding my bottle myself. Well now I can pick up vegetable puffs and even get most of them into my mouth! (All this typing has really helped my dexterity!). Meanwhile, Mommy has been feeding me sweet potatoes, pears and other nums, including my favorite - oatmeal and banana! Mim served me some lentils with curry and coriander and those were really good, too - but nothing prepared me for when Poppi gave me a little bit of his muffin the other day. Hoo-ahh! And you can quote me!

Anyway, we're here, we're mostly settled, and most importantly, we've got wi-fi! Just last night, in fact, Mommy "Skyped" Auntie Ninja. That sounds painful, but it's really a good thing. Skype allowed Mommy and me to see and talk to Auntie Ninja, Mim and Poppi - even though we're more than 200 miles apart. That seems normal enough to me, but some have told me that this is a remarkable new development.

Wow, floating high-chairs, Skype, what next? Oh, yeah - where's my SmartPhone?

Shout Out to My Baptism Peep

2011-02-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

My godmother's great

My godmother's grand

My godmother's name

Is dear Mrs. Sand-

Y.

How Time Flies

2011-01-26T18:45:00.000-08:00

See that photo on the right? That was me about six months ago, back when I was a baby. Those days are LONG gone.

These days I am sitting up by myself, rolling around on the ground, displaying a vocal range that bespeaks a latent musician, and eating solid food, albeit no steak for the time being. Not bad, eh?

So basically what I'm saying is, "Happy Half Birthday to me!!!"

Independence

2011-01-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

For these past months I have had to rely upon others to fulfill my needs. Got a poopy diaper? Cry. Get changed. Feelin' peckish? Cry. Get fed. Getting sick of lying in my bed? Cry. Get picked up. What a drag!

Now, I am happy to report, everything has changed, or at least started to. I have taken up the bottle! Er, I'm able to hold the bottle. Look and be amazed!

I am so pleased by this development that I will be trying to assert my independence in other ways in the near future. Yes, that's right, I will be rooting for the Bears on Sunday. Feel the burn.

Vroom vroom

2011-01-12T22:54:00.000-08:00

I'm rolling. Yes, that's right. I am mobile. Trying not to freak anyone out by going too fast or too far, but it won't be long. I'm just warming up my engines.

Look out world. Here comes Benjamin!

Baby Got Verse

2011-01-04T05:42:00.000-08:00

Some call me fat.
(I think I'm big-boned.)
Some call me handsome.
(Perhaps I'll be cloned?)
Some point and laugh
As they point at my butt.
(I just shrug my shoulders
And give them a "What?!?")

Babies Everywhere!

2010-12-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

Baby Moose here. It has recently come to my attention that I am not the only little person. Who knew? Yesterday and today a sleepy fellow named Sawyer came over. He seemed pretty nice and had these cool boxing gloves on! I don't think he should probably be picking fights, though, 'cause he's not exactly a heavyweight.

Wait!... This news just in! Another baby has been born and this time he's a full-blown cousin. A boy like me! Oh, this is going to rock! His name is Sean Alan, he's about the same weight as me when I was born and he's got hair. You've got to love hairy babies.

So, word to my homey Sawyer and a big "Wassup?" to my new cuz Sean. I will be seeing you guys around.

A Poem for Mom

2010-12-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

Mom's been sick.

She's feeling ick.

A nasty bug

Gave her a lick.

I want a hug,

To be held snug,

And to give a kick

To that mean bug.

Sew what?

2010-12-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

You know what makes a great gift even more special? Personalization! Look at how Mom tricked out my shirt. Is she talented or what? (Oh, and pay no attention to Auntie Ninja in the background; she's always over-reacting. You'd think she'd never picked me up before.)

To tell you the truth, I did question Mom's sewing skills at first. She made me this big sock and even I could tell it was way too huge for me.I mean, they may call me Baby Moose, but my feet are actually rather small.

Then they told me it was to hold my Christmas presents. Stockings? Presents? Christmas? I'm going to have to do some research on this. I'll keep you informed!

To the Man Cave (part 2)

2010-11-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

So Mom went out with "the girls" to see something they call a "chick flik", which left Daddy and Poppi and me to our own devices. Of course I said, "To the Man Cave!" where we could settle down to an afternoon of guilt-free football-watching.

It's exciting, and not a little stressful. You see, Daddy wants me to be a Packer-fan, and Poppi wants me to be a Viking-fan. The one thing we can all agree on, however, is that we hate the Bears.

(Oh, and "Go, Hawkeyes!")

Poppi and me, just chillin' and watching the game.

"TOUCHDOWN!"

The Great-Greatest Generation

2010-11-30T11:41:00.000-08:00

Mommy and Daddy trundled me off to Missouri for a week at Thanksgiving to hang out with great-grandma AND great-great-grandma. It was all fun and I didn't have to sit at the kid's table, for which I'm thankful.

We also had the opportunity for a five-generation photo featuring great-great-grandma West, great-grandma Stewart, Poppi, Mommy and me, Benjamin West Worley. I'm used to be being the center of attention in any photo, but I'm happy and honored to be just a small (but still imporant) part of this picture.

Beyonce-ing Baby Boy

2010-11-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

Mostly I hang out with married ladies, but Mommy likes the song "All the Single Ladies" by Beyonce, so when it played the other day I decided to bust a move, much to the dismay of Grandma Mim and the budgies.

If you turn your sound up high enough you can hear the music. Okay, everybody sing along: "All the single babies, all the single babies...all the single babies, all the single babies...if you like it then you should have put a bib on it! If you like it then you should have put a bib on it!"

Now, just a little work on my passo doble and tango and I'll be reading for Dancing With the Stars ... except that it goes on after my bed-time.

There's no need to fear....

2010-11-13T07:18:00.000-08:00

So this morning Daddy props me up in the cushions on the corner of the couch where I can see all this fluffy new white stuff coming down. I'll need to look into that some more. Anyway, I also see Poppi sitting in the other corner in his big chair. As usual he's got his laptop and a cup of coffee.

Laptop? That's supposed to be my job, so I start waving my arms and leaning forward, trying to catch Poppi's attention. As I did so, however, I started to tip forward and the next thing I know I'm flopped over the edge of the couch with my head pointed toward the floor.

I couldn't exactly see what happened in the next half-second, but boy could I hear it! The computer went one direction the coffee cup another and all these strange creaking and popping noises (Oh! That's why we call him "Poppi"!) and then he's got me scooped up and laughing. I never would have guessed the old guy could move so fast!

A New Thing

2010-11-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

I confess that I was noticeably grouchy the last time I wrote. Will you forgive me?

The following isn't so much a penitential act as it is joyful reportage (say that with a French accent for full impact.)

I have learned to giggle and laugh when tickled! Mommy was poking me with her fingers the other day and, "tee hee" just kinda slipped out of my mouth. And again! It felt fun, kind of like spitting up, but less messy.

Hats

2010-10-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today Mom tried to put a hat on my head. Hated it. So I told her so.

Fast forward 5 seconds. She tries on another stupid hat! What, is yelling my face off not clear enough?

Fast forward another 5 seconds. What is wrong with these people? Dad gets this grin on his face and the next thing you know I've got another stupid hat on my head. Aarrrggghhhh!!!!! I HATE HATS!!!!!! It may not be logical, but it's my thing. So lay off already.

My hero

2010-10-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

It seems perfectly natural to me, but I know some people question how I, a baby, am able to write and maintain this blog. Oh come on, people -- it's not as if I'm the first baby wise beyond his years in the ways of the new media!

Take a look at the latest from my hero:

Now I want my own smart phone!

Eruption of Pseudo Wimsey

2010-10-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

So then, if you are a keen observer you will notice that there is a kitchen in the background (the pantry is the giveaway.) As a regular reader of this blog, you will know from previous pictures that this is not my kitchen! So then, you are asking yourself, "Whose kitchen is it?" Tis a question that is right on point. We must look for clues. Take the young lad with the nice smile who is holding me with such confidence. Have you seen him before? Why yes! Yes you have. This 10 year old has indeed graced the electronic pages of this webbie, back in August as I recall. His name is Andrew and he is my cousin. Given his identity we come back to question, "whose kitchen is it?"

Perhaps it is time for more evidence. Kindly notice the next picture. There is a boy who is holding me. But he is not the same boy! Duh, duh, duuuuuuuuuuuh. So who is this mysterious young man and what part does he play? Well I shall tell you. But first let it be remarked that he has also appeared on this webbie. His name is Christopher and he is my cousin. He is 8 years old.

So then, where am I? Gentle reader, surely I must be in the abode wherein these two young gentlemen reside! And so it was this past weekend. I, along with dear mother and that fatherly fellow, made the journey to Mankato to visit cuz and cuz. It was rather a nice trip as the autumn has been gentle and kind, the company was good, and who needs a hot water heater anyway? "Hot water heater?" Yes indeed, the hulking clod of tin gave up the old esprit and leaked its life juices out onto the basement floor. Could have been a horrible mess except for my timely and heroic action! Just kidding! I was just lying around the whole time. Someone else noticed the impending disaster and took action. I'm pretty sure it was my Auntie Rachel. She's a dear, by the way. Very kind with yours truly and I must say that I appreciate it.

Well, I've been rambling ever so much. I should mention that Uncle Fred was there too, enjoying the weekend away from his students. The two danderballs (cats) were slinking about. And Lynx must have stopped by, though I didn't see her, because we had a rather marvelous Chinese dinner on Sunday. Toodle pip!

PS: Happy belated birthday to my dear auntie who turned "the square root of one hundred sixty nine times a halved foursie."

Your multi-media Baby Moose

2010-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

So I've got this blog thing going on, immortalizing my thoughts in text, and there have also been photos and even videos. Did you know that my Auntie Ninja has also featured me in cartoons?

My lawyer says I have to insert the "Don't Try This At Home" disclaimer here to cover my, er, diaper. As far as I know, I'm the only one who can even attempt to get chocolate past Auntie Ninja.

Btw, you can see this cartoon and others in the series in their full-size and glory by clicking the following links:

http://thenightwriterblog.com/2010/08/02/anorexstics-inaneymous-095/
http://thenightwriterblog.com/2010/08/09/anorexstics-inaneymous-096/
http://thenightwriterblog.com/2010/08/16/anorexstics-inaneymous-097/

Cruisin' the lake!

2010-10-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Mom and Auntie Beth took me on a walk around Lake Como. I didn’t have to do much, just look at all the bright colored leaves around me. Mom is getting to be a fast walker again, but Auntie Beth is carting around my future cousin-to-be, so she’s a little slow. We even took a break for awhile so she could rest and hold me. I didn’t mind because I got to sit on my cousin for a bit!!

Yankees

2010-10-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

Daddy put me in a new kind of diaper today. It has a big N and a big Y on it. Now he laughs every time I fart. Daddy's weird sometimes.

Look what I can do

2010-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

Dad put me down on my blankie for a little tummy time today. I don't really like tummy time that much because it's harder for me to see what is going on around me. Today I had to push myself up to see better. Next thing I know, everyone is shouting at me!

Sacre Bleu

2010-10-02T11:19:00.001-07:00

Mom is trying to teach me the alphabet, in French. Poul l'amour de Pete, I'm just a baby!

A tip of the tongue

2010-09-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

I never quite understood it, but for some reason it always seemed that when people picked me up they'd sooner or later start sticking their tongue out at me. Usually I'd just stare back at them, befuddled. What was the meaning of this rude behavior? Had I done something to offend them? Is it some ritual greeting, like shaking hands? (I still haven't figured THAT one out - helloooo, people - do you have any idea where my hands have been?)

And then, the other day, I'd had enough of all that so I stuck my tongue out right back at them! You know what? It's fun! No wonder people are always doing this! Now whenever someone sticks their tongue out at me, I respond in kind - and we all laugh like the dickens!

Saturday

2010-09-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

Today Mom and Dad took me in a car ride across the city to see some friends from birthing class. When we arrived at a house I looked around to see if there were any other babies and sure enough there was another milk-guzzler like me. She was a bit smaller and she needed spit-up in her hair to get it to lay down. Her name was Shula. I told dad that I thought the football reference was cool, but he told me it had to do with the Bible, Shulamit something or other. Whatever. Then another milk-guzzler came in. She was balder than an eagle! I tried not to laugh too hard. Then I fell asleep. The end.

I'm ready for my spit-up, I mean, close-up, C.B.!

2010-09-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

I fully realize that I'm at the stage where everything I do is cute and adorable, though I don't mind turning on the charm when I have to.

Naps and Dreams

2010-09-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

Goodness me, this week has flown by. It's like I got put down for one of those awful naps that mom and dad keep insisting on, and then woke up days later. Moose van Winkle!

What's the deal with naps anyway? Are they doing something secret? What am I missing out on? Do I look like a baby that needs to sleep 18 hours a day? One of these days I am going to bust out of that bassinet and do some reconnaissance, but first I've got to figure out how to roll over.

Bring me that horizon!

2010-09-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

May be it is in my heritage but just like English poet John Masefield I find myself constantly called back to the sea. Well, to the St. Croix River, anyway, and it's not a tall ship but a pontoon boat. Nevertheless, I ride easily over the waves, my eyes fixed unwaveringly on the horizon. It's hard to explain the attraction, but Masefield, author of "Sea Fever", understands.

Startle

2010-09-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Every time daddy sneezes or blows his nose I get startled. I was having some milk for breakfast this morning when he let loose with one. I popped right off. At this point, I think he does it on purpose.

I Invented a New Game

2010-09-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, after dad got home from work, we were playing one of his favorite games. He would squeeze my cheeks and make a funny noise. I would laugh. Rinse. Repeat. Not a bad game at all. But I thought I would spice things up a bit. So as he pinched my cheeks again I let out a big noise from my bottom. He and Mom laughed about how stinky I was. I was laughing too, especially when Dad discovered that I'd burst the bonds of my diaper and overpowered the defenses of my pajamas. He was nice enough to change me before he changed himself. Maybe we can play my game again soon; it's called, "Explosion!"

The Boys Were Back in Town

2010-08-31T15:59:00.000-07:00

I guess you really couldn't call it a reunion since, 1) I've never been to Alexandria before, and 2) this was the first time we'd laid eyes on each other, but it felt good to hang out with Christopher and Andrew.

And the Memories Continue

2010-08-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was so big I can hardly remember it all! The recollections that I shared earlier were certainly part of the story, more Mom's family. But then there was Dad's family. It's almost as if I've got two hemispheres in my brain, remembering different things!

I've got cousins! I'd heard tell of rambunctious boy cousins with skinny jeans and skateboards. Frankly, I was a little worried that I might be on the receiving end of some jabs, burps and farts. As it turns out, though, Andrew and Christopher were most gracious. They treated me like a piece of fine china. After having experienced Dad giving me a bath, believe me their care was appreciated!

I also got to meet a nice lady named Sandy. She's my godmother. She was standing with us when the pastor guy doused me with the water. Afterwords she spent lots of time making sure I was okay. Very sweet. Plus she gave me presents!

I live in the same house with my Mim and my Poppi, which is great because they love me a bunch. But the neat thing about this weekend was that I got to see my Grandma and Grandpa who live far away. That means I spent the weekend with all four of my grandparents! That's a lot of grandparents!

Discovery

2010-08-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

I made the neatest discovery the other day. My tongue. I can stick it out. Daddy says I look like a frog and that it must be the flies in my tummy that make me cry. That's just silly. I'm just doing vocal exercises for choir.

Take me to the river

2010-08-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

Road trip!

The whole family packed up and hit the road for Alexandria, MN last weekend to see Grandma and Grandpa. Mom, Dad and I went up on Friday and Mim, Poppi, Auntie Ninja and our friend Lynx came up Saturday. I thought we were just going to visit Grandma and Grandpa and go to church, but then all the Worleys started rehearsing a song. They said it was for my baptism. Baptism?

I was told it was like the Dedication we did the previous weekend. Well, all right, just another opportunity for me to be the center of attention for an adoring public. Plus, Mom had a pretty sharp outfit for me to wear. Anyway, we're all up front in the church and the sacred words are being said, and I'm having a good time, nodding at all the things Mom and Dad are supposed to do for me and then...WHAT THE...water! The pastor starts ladleing water over my head. I wasn't ready for that, but handled it with a certain amount of grace, you might say. Afterwards, though, there was cake and presents!

You can see video of the Baptism ceremony here, and watch the song that Grandpa, Dad and Mom sang for me while Grandma played the piano here. Also, check out some of the photos below from the day.

Here I am mentally rehearsing my lines before the ceremony.

Here's Dad with my cake and our father and son motto.

Great. My auntie is a ninja and my cousin is a vampire!

I'm Dedicated

2010-08-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I'm a pretty dedicated guy. My philosophy is to keep things simple, so it's easy for me to focus on just a few things: sleeping, getting fed, pooping. Oh, and trying to get my way, I guess. Somewhere around the bottom of that list is updating this blog, but I apologize for not letting you know of a couple of big events from last weekend.

One, my great-grandma, Poppi's mom, came to see me for the first time, all the way from some place called Missouri. I couldn't find it on a map, I suppose someone will have to show me. On top of that, I got "dedicated" to God. That's a good thing, too, since I had a word or two with the Big Guy (not Poppi) right before He sent me here.

Everyone was there: Great-grandma, Poppi, Grandma Mim, Mom, Dad, Auntie Ninja...and a girl named Lynx. I thought that with a name like that she was also a blogger, but she says no. Anyway, it was a very nice ceremony, and very touching. I could have cried, but I didn't. If you weren't there, you can see for yourself here:

Monday

2010-08-23T19:52:00.000-07:00

Goodness me, I do apologize. It's been days since I put fingers to keyboard. I could come up with some snappy excuse (like a complete lack of hand-eye coordination, countless hours spent sleeping, restless bowels, milk binge), but I won't. I just didn't write anything. Full stop.

But today is a new day! Even though it's almost over. And it was a fine day indeed. I met my uncle Chris for the first time and he briefly cured my hiccups. Nice guy. I went on a walk around Lake Como with my parents. Dad kept making rude remarks about the awful stench. I swear it was the lake and not me! And now I'm home, everything is rosy and swell, and I'm feelin' a powerful urge to close my eyes.

Splish-splash

2010-08-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know that it wasn't that long ago when my head was "under water" non-stop. That doesn't mean, however, that I enjoy having my head close to water now. In particular, those early shampoos were quite stressful and I'm afraid I was a bit pointed in my protests. I like to think, however, that I've matured since those early days.

Take my last shampoo, for example. Now, I could have gotten a bit huffy when I heard the water running and when Mom picked me up, just as I have before. The thing is, I originally didn't know that Mom was a professional. Once I remembered that she'd been to beauty school and had a lot of practice in washing hair it was all cool. We both enjoyed it, and someone took a picture after my first "fuss-free" bath.

It was great, and now I'm really interested in meeting a certain Mr. Henri.

Naps

2010-08-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad really seem to be hung up on napping these days. Not their own, but mine. I wake up from a nap and before I can down a bit of milk, kick back and relax a bit, they're putting me back to bed. I like a good nap as much as the next guy, but it's getting a bit ridiculous. So periodically I've been hinting at my displeasure. You'd think an hour of shouting bloody murder would get the point across, but they just smile, burp me, kiss me, and put me back. Hard-headed people.

Thank you for your support

2010-08-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I've really arrived as a blogger now that I've received my first link. Not only that, but it appears that I'm also being put forward as a candidate to be the next mayor of the MOB. I suppose I'd actually have to join the MOB in order to be official, though there's a good chance I've been grandfathered in, so to speak.

I don't know if MOB Mayor is a post I want to pursue, but I'll form an exploratory committe to look into it. One of the first things I want them to explore is if I have any relations in the Dayton family who can bankroll my campaign. I can, however, produce a birth certificate.

What do you think of this photo for a campaign poster? I think I look rather Churchillian, if I say so myself.

My comment policy

2010-08-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

It was brought to my attention that the identity protocols for would-be commenters on this blog were sub-optimal, and may have kept well-meaning folks from sharing their insight.

I checked things out and, sure enough, the original set-up sucked. (I'm told that word means something is bad, but sucking seems like a pretty good thing from my perspective. Oh well.) Anyway, once I realized there was a problem, I had my people take care of it pretty darn tout de suite, let me tell you. Now, should you care to comment, there will be less foofaraw.

Carry on.

I get MOBbed!

2010-08-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

The way it was explained to me, many members of the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers (MOB) used to meet to play trivia at Keegan's Irish Pub, and Poppi and Daddy first met each other there. That eventually led to Daddy meeting Mommy, then Mommy and Daddy getting married, and that led to me getting here. I'm not sure exactly how all that works, but apparently there was no question that I was going to make my public debut at the MOB summer party last night, which also happened to be at Keegan's.

Ok, I can roll with that. Since I had an audience and it's an Irish pub I delivered my rendition of "Oh Danny Boy". Mom and Grandma Mim like it.

Baby's got pipes!

It was an interesting evening. I got to meet Mitch, Joel Rosenberg, Mr & Mrs Dilettante, Uncle Strommie and Margaret and many more. I'd like to say I read all their blogs, but really, I only have time to pay attention to this blog in between eating, sleeping and, well, pooping.

Ok, let's get this baby off the ground!

2010-08-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

Hey, take me over there! It looks like Mommy has some ribs.

Actually, it looks like Daddy has some ribs, too. Mine!

Tidbits

2010-08-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, today the weirdest thing had happened. This lady came over (that's not too weird) and kept pointing this flashy thing at me. *click* *click* *click*. I was trying to take a nap and she just kept pestering me. I thought about driving her off with a nice volley of nuclear crying, but decided to go the softer route: I acted all cute and sleepy. Eventually she got the point and cleared out.

P.S. By the way, I went on my first elevator yesterday. Not exactly a laugh riot, but I wasn't going to try the roller coaster just yet.

P.P.S. Doggone it, I hate it when I request service and get ignored. It chaps my hide.

Are you going to eat that?

2010-08-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

They put me on the scale again today.

I didn't just tip it, I darn near tipped it over.

I'm now at 10 pounds, 9 ounces -- up 10 ounces from last week.

And they won't even let me have bacon yet!

Hunger

2010-08-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

Guest Post by Dad

Baby Moose has graciously allowed me to share some thoughts on his blog. Today: Hunger.

When he is hungry Baby Moose does not get angry or demanding. Not right away at any rate. The surest sign of hunger is that he will hit his face. Yep, he hits his face as if to say, "I want me some food and here's where I want it!" At first it seemed a bit strange, but now I'm grateful for the clear signal.

If ignored for too long he will start getting indignant. This isn't a point of no return, however. If sung to he will settle down again and maybe even fall asleep if the melody is sweet.

On the other hand, giving him kisses just makes him angrier. "I don't want your affection. I want food. And for the love of Pete, make it snappy!" Obviously we try to avoid any "angry elf" situations.

So there you go, that's the nutshell of hunger.

---------------------

P.S. Here are the words to one of those delaying tactic songs. Lyrical inspiration: Auntie Ninja.

Feed me num nums foolish mortal. Feed me num nums or you die.

I have had enough of waiting. You don't need to ask why.

Give me something for my belly or I'll kick you in the shin.

Feed me num nums foolish mortal. Put the milk right in.

Author, author!

2010-08-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

This blogging thing is pretty easy. So easy, in fact, that I'm considering writing a book. I just have to decide whether it's going to be all about me, or just mostly about me. I'll let you know what I decide. For now, however, I'm greatly encouraged that I've already got an author photo picked out for the back cover.

Rush Limbaugh, eat your heart out!

Reading comprehension

2010-08-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've been told that it is not common for newly-born babies to pick up the whole reading/writing/blogging thing as quickly as I have. I don't know what to say about that, since I only have my own experience to date to go on. I'm also aware that I still have much to learn.

For example, I'm discovering that many words look and sound the same, but that meaning can change based on context. I've also learned that something that looks or sounds good in writing might not be as appealing in practice. For example:

Ok, "butt paste" sounds kind of gross, but it feels SO good. "Butt rub" sounds as if it would feel good, but -- trust me -- it's not the same. Why would they even take a chance of confusing someone like that?

Motorcycle (grand)mamas

2010-08-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

I only know two grandmas so far, but I have to say that mine are pretty cool. I admit, it's a small sample size, so tell me: does your grandmother do this?

If this is what my grandmothers are like, I can't wait to meet my GREAT-grandmothers!

Musical tastes

2010-08-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, Dad is what the old-timers call "a card." Today during a - um - wardrobe change, he starts singing "Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap." Feh.

If you're going to go all AC/DC, grandma and me prefer "For Those About to Rock."

I blame the deep-dish pizza

2010-08-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

Another car trip today, this time to see the mid-wife. She put me on the scale and I'm up one pound and two ounces since I was born 9 days ago! I've already outgrown some of my onesies before I've even had a chance to wear them!

I don't get it - dad and I both get up to eat in the middle of the night, and he never gains an ounce!

The Sunday Drive

2010-08-01T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today was another day of firsts. First, they took me through "the door." I went blind like I was back in my old apartment, except this time it was from brightness. I can't say that I much cared for that.

Then Mom and Dad took me on a "Sunday drive." They tied me into a seat and turned me backwards so that I couldn't see where I was going. Were they trying to get me lost? They needn't have worried; my sense of direction is basically nil at this point and I can get lost on the top of our bed. No matter.

Then we went into another house with other people. There sure seem to be a lot of people around. And they are new every day. Some of them hold me and some just look. The littler ones look nervous. It's funny though, even the littler ones are huge. I sure am small.

Silent like the ninja

2010-07-31T14:55:00.000-07:00

I worked on my martial arts skills constantly when I was in the womb. There was little else to do, and I knew Auntie Ninja was waiting for me so that gave me extra motivation to work on my kicks, punches and spins. Finally today Auntie and I got to try out our ninja moves on each other in the upstairs dojo. Ok, she's got an advantage over me with the nunchacku since I didn't have a chance to practice with those. All in all, though, I think I held my own, though she may have been going easy on me.

Here's a picture of Auntie Ninja helping me work on my "stealthy waiting" skills.

Oops

2010-07-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today daddy left me on the bed without a diaper on.... I didn't try to do it.

The new sheets are very soft.

A Question to Ponder

2010-07-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

Mom used to not be mom. She was something else. She went to beauty school. It worked; she is definitely beautiful!

Anyways, she gave me a manicure tonight. Maybe I've been spending too much time in the man cave?

My first trip to the Man Cave

2010-07-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

Is there no end to all this new stuff? I was just hanging with mom and some other people with higher pitched voices. Then dad scoops me and says something about too much est.., estra..., estro...I don't know! I mean, I only learned to type earlier today!

Anyway, next thing I know we're going down, down, down. It's kind of dark and smells ... I don't have a word for that either but this single little hair popped up on my chest. That big guy is down here, the one with the fluffy face. He and dad are staring at this wall-like thing with all these nice colors moving around. It's pretty, I guess, but it doesn't make me want to clap and yell like the big people are doing as they stare at it. Easily amused, I suppose.

Then, pardon me, but I burp. It came out of nowhere. I am mortified. Then dad and the other guy laugh, and then they burp, too. Hey, I think I like it here!

Questions

2010-07-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

'Round these parts there's a saying: All baby. All the time.

And there's a litany of questions:

When was the last time I pooped?
How much did I poop?
What color was my poop?
Did it smell?
Did I pee too?
Did I nurse?
How long did I nurse?
Did I sleep?
How long did I sleep?

Then, when they're not asking the questions they sit and stare at me. And then, more peoples come and they do it all over again.
Don't these people have jobs?

Here I Am

2010-07-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal. I got born the other day. Tough stuff that. But I'm not complaining.

Anyway, everyone has been pestering me about blogging. "Your family's all bloggy. Are you bloggy?" Well, strictly speaking, no. I'm more into naps and, (this is so embarrassing,) pooping.

But there's nothing wrong with having a spot to collect some info and pictures and such. And why not here? And maybe I'll grow into it.

By the way, Great Aunt Sandi helped with the blog title. Daddy says it's a double entendre. I have no idea what he's talking about so I just smiled and nodded.